i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize