I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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