I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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