:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
