I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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