You can't special order awesome
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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