Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
