Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
