I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I understand Curling. That high.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize