In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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