I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
