There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
