I'm passing your future prison.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The uberlube is also flammable
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as a side note pls kill me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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