In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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