If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize