Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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