You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
