Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
