based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize