this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
