Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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