She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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