:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize