He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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