The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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