I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
