I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
