Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize