i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
