if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
