Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
