I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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