Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize