It's like God shit irony all over that family
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
