Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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