hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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