ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
worst night to have a conscience
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm having to shit out rocks
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
