Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
