once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
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Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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