Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
