I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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