stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize