i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
