Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
