her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
