I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize