did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
