Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
