I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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