Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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