I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
