i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
