It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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