Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so explain again why im purple
no
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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