your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
