the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i think i just lost a toe
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
